I Am Not This Body

    My belief is that we’re more than a body.


    In the last two years I’ve gained 30 pounds from stress and hypothyroidism…and I’ll keep the challenges private but I’m opening up about my weight. I don’t believe that I am this body, and at the same time I’m surrounded and slammed with body images in the media.


    I feel like I live in a paradoxical truth and that I must teach my daughters to respect their bodies/selves/boundaries but also to not take the world too seriously, and to understand that they are also beyond “the body”.
    Sometimes I feel worried in moments when I think about the abuses women go through and how my daughters may be affected by this as they grow up. I’ve had moments when I’ve mentally beaten myself up – “How dare I bring girls into this crazy, patriarchal world?”. (Patriarchal with a small “p”…because I believe that we’re on the upswing to a more balanced society and world.) Right now so much importance is placed on “the body” which unfortunately leads to disrespect, misuse, and at the same time glorification. It’s a confusing message to girls and everyone.
    This body grew, birthed, and fed two babies. I’ve dropped from seizures and concussions over the last several years and stood up to continue to feed, teach, and nurture my daughters. I have strong shoulders and I can carry my family through tough times – perhaps because I believe that the Spirit in this body is more than this body. Despite how I look now, or ever, I’ll be the role model for my daughters, and my inner strength will guide them as they grow.
    Over time I’ll lose the 30 extra pounds I can assure you that, but I won’t concern myself with the fact that right now my jeans fit too tightly. I have more interesting and pressing things to deal with than focusing on how I’m expected to look as a 30 something Mom.
    Sure, I’m staring down 40, and I know I’ll be a better version of myself then because I have a belief in myself. My best self is the human who is ever evolving and who is compassionate, loving, nurturing, respected and forgiving. I’m a good Mom to my daughters because I already believe all of this about myself. Forgiveness of the world starts with myself, and from there it will spread healing everyone.
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