I’ve been mentally hard on myself for continually losing and gaining ten pounds over the last 6 months.
I’m 40 years old, I have hypothyroidism, almost daily aura seizures, and over the summer I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue. When I look at this list I wonder why I’m beating myself up…I’m getting out of bed each morning and being strong for my family, mothering my girls, running the house, taking care of the dog, homeschooling Ava, and getting Maddie to and from school.
I don’t have the option to stay in bed for the next year.
I’m confidant. I love being 40, but damn it – the truth is that I’m so much more physically comfortable without that extra ten pounds hanging out around my middle. I feel weak in spirit for caring about that.
Screw this basic human thing. I’m so done with the simple thoughts. Why do I even let the weak reflections flow through my mind? I’m usually thinking about the quantum field, politics, the suppression of people via consumerism, the oppression of souls….
So I’ll blast The Hip…and miss Gord…and move past the physical, and the rules of how we “should look”. I look how I look, and that’s that. Life’s tough, and I’m trying to do everything well despite the obstacles. I’m tired and it shows. If I hide how I feel then I’ll add to the growing illusion of social media. So let’s connect. Let’s connect where we are now – not where we’re pretending to be. Forget the clothes and gadgets. Forget the tech and sponsors. Who are you really? That interests me.