One of my favourite books is Judith Duerk’s book Circle of Stones and I miss having a village of women even though I’ve never had one. I feel like I’ve known what it was like before and now the familiarity is lost.
I’m putting a call out there for women to create a village again. A space where we can talk and feel safe sharing our similarities and struggles. All women – mothers, women who choose not to have children, aunties, grandmothers, the young ladies who are just beginning to grow into themselves.
Let’s connect on social media and within the in-person conversations that we have – pose questions, tell stories, cry, laugh, rage, quietly share our concerns – whatever we need to do to get through this seemingly separate life. Genuine conversations – no pretenses, no facades, no bravado, and no arrogance. Let’s leave the collective ego behind.
It’s time for people to be real, because for the most part we hide our vulnerabilities. How will we grow if we conceal aspects of ourselves?
No judgments. Only kindness and understanding for those who are going through what we already have. Compassion for those who are facing challenges that we have yet to experience.
For all women:
“How might your life have been different if there had been a place for you? A place for you to go…a place of women, to help you learn the ways of women…a place where you were nurtured from an ancient flow sustaining you and steadying you as you sought to become yourself. A place of women to help you find and trust the ancient flow already there within yourself…waiting to be released…” (pg.32)
“How might your life have been different if there had been a place for you…a place of women, where you were received and affirmed? A place where other women, perhaps somewhat older, had been affirmed before you, each in her time, affirmed, as she struggled to become more truly herself.“
“How might it have been different for you, if, early in your life, the first time you as a tiny child felt your anger coming together inside of yourself, someone, a parent or grandparent, or older sister or brother, had said, “Bravo! Yes, that’s it! You’re feeling it!“
“How might your life have been different, if, when you were a young woman, the first time you felt feelings of depression, an older woman had come to sit with you? If she had come to sit with you, as someone had come to sit with her for the first time she had feelings of depression? To simply sit, quietly, perhaps wordlessly – to sit with you, during your dark time.
And how might your life have been different if the woman had accepted your feelings of depression? Had accepted them so completely and fully that you began to feel safe with them. If there had been no judgement and no questioning…no attempt to make you smile, to betray your darkness. If the woman had simply sat in silence with you, with your pain, and in the darkest moments had been able to reflect it to you…to reflect you your pain…to witness…attend…and by her quiet respect for it to help you learn to respect it…
…and to see that just as the woman had faith in it, you might also have a glimmer of faith that there was meaning and truth in your darkness.“
“How might your life have been different, if, as a young woman there had been a place for you, a place where you could go to be with women? A place where you could be received as you strove to order your moments and your days.
A place where you could learn a quiet centeredness…to help you ground yourself in daily patterns that would nurture you through their gentle rhythms…“
“How might your life have been different, if, through the years, there had been a place where you could go? …a place of women, away from the ordinary busy-ness of life…a place of women who knew the cycles of life, the ebb and flow of nature, who knew of times of work and times of quiet…who understood your tiredness and need for rest.“
I definitely feel tired and in need of rest.
I encourage all women to read Judith Duerk’s book Circle of Stones (published in 1989).
It’s like coming home.