Being in the throws of separation and divorce is like standing on the precipice and looking down at the ravine. Feet are firmly pressed into the ground, but the gust from any harsh comment could potentially tip you forward.
I have no desire to be nudged off of my feet by words so I remain planted. No stubbornness, just the understanding of what my daughters truly need – so I stay firm in my intentions.
Kindness for all involved is always at the forefront of my mind, but I have moments when I verbally snap back. Constant misunderstandings try my patience.
It’s tough to stay in a meditative state when someone is repeatedly assuming the worst about you.
Perception is malicious. A quiet voice whispering into our ears to keep us in perpetual verbal battle. The ego loves to inflict havoc. Loves it. So the solution is to step outside of that control and create a life on our own terms. A life where we are complimented on our efforts. One where we have space from being challenged by an onslaught of contempt.
Every time we stand up for ourselves – in a respectful way – we’re shutting down the ego…moment by moment. Over time it’ll disappear completely, but until then it’s up to all of us to remain considerate even in the toughest times.
So I’ll continue on mothering, writing, meditating, exercising and eventually I’ll be on the other side of all of this. The ravine will disappear, and I’ll dance across the lush green grass of the plane, perhaps picking wild flowers as I pirouette….my long curls wrapping themselves around my face and then floating free as I spin.