Love through divorce. No romance, but embracing consideration for a fellow human who is coping too. A person who went through all of the shared hard moments. The unexpected curve ball of new life and deaths at the same time. Someone who perhaps struggled with change, but made an attempt to listen.
Both sides doing all that they can to remain friendly. Showing up as adults to be a great example of decency for the kids.
Offering that the other take with them whatever is important to them from the home. No arguing over meager possessions. Importance is placed on equal time with the kids…no tug of war. The little ones aren’t put in the middle to choose a side. No sides. Family is family even when they live apart. The marriage dissolves when the law decrees it so. Parenting relationships remain strong to ensure emotional comfort for the kids. Gossip is shut down. Both sides speak positively about the other for the sake of the kids.
Peace comes from giving the benefit of the doubt as much as possible. Giving the other side as many chances as they need to become gracious.
Everyone feels pain, and some express it while others remain detached. Connection is only possible when both sides feel.
Remembering the funny shared moments helps to move through the agonizing ones.
Divorce is heartbreaking – not because of the “failed marriage”, or the judgments – but because it’s an end. An end to the “forever” that was promised.
What do we do at the end? Take back our heart and say, “Thank you for the life lessons.” “Thank you for the beautiful children that we raised together.” “Thank you for the moments of support.” “Thank you for the moments of a lack of confidence” which pushed us to show just what we can do.
We are who we are because of a lifetime of experiences – good and bad. Life is all of the mess combined with grace.
Believing in a relationship is honorable. Thriving through it is commendable. Growing because of it is everything.
There’s no tearing apart – just gently letting go. Releasing the other’s hand. Fading from daily life together to create new lives.
Knowing that everything was done to “make it work” and the relationship has run its course. The agreement to help each other evolve has concluded.
Completion is the end.
The end is the beginning.